Women (and men) often find themselves being violated. They set up boundaries and other people don't respect those boundaries. Violating another human being in a sexually aggressive way is absolutely unjustifiable. Manipulating another person for one's own sexual gratification is absolutely wrong. But, for some reason, it continues to happen.
"Why does this keep happening to me?" you ask yourself.
There's no good reason for that. We live in a very messed up world that doesn't function in purity or beauty as it was designed to do.
What happened to you wasn't fair, it wasn't right, it was not invited.
It was not and is not okay.
"Is it my fault for being kind? Am I sending the wrong message?" you ask yourself.
You question if you invited the violation because of your kindness.
This makes my heart hurt. Let me answer this question for you. In NO way is this your fault. Kindness invites kindness. Anything else that shows up is uninvited and not your fault.
Your sexual relationship is more than a personal decision. The fact that it is sexual means that it involves others. It impacts other people too. It involves your emotions as well as your body. It impacts your relationships.
If you're a person who's been violated sexually, you've been violated in more than a physical way. You feel this and know it.
"How can I move forward? I feel so broken."
If you feel broken, you are not alone.
If you want to move forward, but feel paralyzed, you are not alone.
That doesn't have to be the end of your story.
"Wholeness is brokenness owned and thereby healed" ~Sister Barbara Fiand (as quoted in Abba's Child, pg 74)
If you've been violated- talk about it. You don't need to hide. People can hurt people, and people can heal people. They can help heal you and restore you. Allow other (trustworthy) broken people to walk with you.
Shame does not have to be the theme of your story.
Once you begin to share your story, you get your sense of power back, piece by piece.
Just because you've been violated once, or many many times, does NOT mean it is in your future.
Brokenness doesn't have to be the end of your story. There is hope. There is redemption. There is purity and healing for you.
Turn to Christ. He washes us completely clean and heals us. He makes us new. He can make life from dust. He can make beauty from ashes. He can breathe life back into your paralyzed body. He can heal your hurts, all of them. The physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual pain- He can heal all of it. He can remind you of how much you are loved.
Thank you for continuing to fight the good fight. You are important. Your boundaries are important.
Until next time- take care, ~Molly
P.S. If you want to talk with someone about this please fill out the Contact form found here. I would love to walk beside you through this!